On movie sex and movie love...

Category: Romance (Page 1 of 3)

La La Land

  • YEAR: 2016
  • DIRECTOR: Damien Chazelle
  • KEY ACTORS: Ryan Gosling, Emma Stone
  • CERTIFICATE: 12A
  • IMDB SCORE: 8.0
  • ROTTEN TOMATOES SCORE: 91%

SEX SCORE: 4/5
✔️ This is very rewatchable, and I get something new from it each time.
✔️ The cast are incredibly fuckable. When are either of them ever not?
✔️ And it did inspire fantasies. Who doesn’t want to dance with a beautiful partner above the LA sunset?
✔️ Technically it passes the Bechdel Test but it’s a close call. Are characters truly ‘named’ if they’re only named in the credits? Is one conversation really enough?
❌ There isn’t really any sex in the movie to work out sex positivity but the gender politics haven’t really aged well so I can’t give it a mark!

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The Shape of Water

  • YEAR: 2017
  • DIRECTOR: Guillermo del Toro
  • KEY ACTORS: Sally Hawkins, Doug Jones, Michael Shannon, Octavia Spencer
  • CERTIFICATE: 15
  • IMDB SCORE: 7.3
  • ROTTEN TOMATOES SCORE: 92%

SEX SCORE: 4/5

✔️ It is rewatchable. If I switched channels and this was on, I’d keep watching. At least until the sex scenes – they’re fascinating!
✔️ It does pass the Bechdel test, although because of insignificant passing conversations rather than because the women have a plot that does not involve men/fishmen.
✔️ And of course it’s sex positive! It’s about fucking a sea creature and those who judge her are considered the bad guys!
❌ While it didn’t inspire fantasies
✔️ …I would fuck the cast. I wouldn’t consider myself a monster fucker but that is one hot fishman!

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Witness

  • YEAR: 1985
  • DIRECTOR: Peter Weir
  • KEY ACTORS: Harrison Ford, Kelly McGillis
  • CERTIFICATE: 15
  • IMDB SCORE: 7.4
  • ROTTEN TOMATOES SCORE: 93%

SEX SCORE: 3.5/5

❌ I’ve made a decision to fail all movies where I have to think about the fine details of the Bechdel Test to determine if it has passed. This is such a low bar that unless it’s a clear pass, it’s going to fail. So this fails the Bechdel Test. There are only two named female characters who have only one verbal exchange. It isn’t explicitly about a man but it does mention a man and, damn, it is not good enough!
✔️ But it is definitely rewatchable! Intense, entertaining and surprisingly excellent.
✔️ And yes, I would fuck the cast. Absolutely. Definitely. Yes.
❓The fantasies question is difficult. Because the fantasies that it did inspire are so vague – letting someone watch you, desiring something you can’t have – that I’m not sure they can really be credited to this movie. Half a point!
✔️And this is definitely sex positive. Consensual, beautiful and hot!

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Casablanca

  • YEAR: 1942
  • DIRECTOR: Michael Curtiz
  • KEY ACTORS: Humphrey Bogart, Ingrid Bergman, Paul Henreid
  • CERTIFICATE: U
  • IMDB SCORE: 8.5
  • ROTTEN TOMATOES SCORE: 99%

SEX SCORE: 3.5/5

✔️ This is definitely rewatchable. From any point in the film, at any time.
✔️ And I definitely want to fuck the cast. Doesn’t everyone?
❓ I’m giving it a half mark for inspiring fantasies because it didn’t inspire anything directly, but it could be the source of so many other doomed romance/love triangle/being fought over by two men fantasies…
❌ Sadly, it fails the Bechdel Test. There are only three named female characters and they never speak, let alone talk about something other than a man.
✔️ I had to think about it, but I think Casablanca is sex positive. Sex seems to be both ever present and never spoken about, but I don’t recall any particularly negative moments so I’m giving it the mark!

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Beauty and the Beast

  • YEAR: 1991
  • DIRECTOR: Gary Trousdale and Kirk Wise
  • KEY ACTORS: Robby Benson, Paige O’Hara, Richard White, Angela Lansbury, Jerry Orbach
  • CERTIFICATE: U
  • IMDB SCORE: 8.0
  • ROTTEN TOMATOES SCORE: 94%

SEX SCORE: 3/5

✔️ As a film I’ve easily watched in advance of 40 times, it would be hypocritical of me to say it is not rewatchable.
❓ I want to fuck the cast in fantasy more than reality. Angry men in a scene, yes. Angry men in reality, no. However, Belle is an absolute babe. 
✔️ It did inspire fantasies. So very many. ‘If she doesn’t eat with me, she doesn’t eat at all!’ – do I have to say any more…?
❓ In some senses it is sex positive, mostly in the way it approaches consent, but love and sexual relationships are treated as something for adults, to be understood by adults- as Chip’s questions get brushed aside.
❌ A film with few female conversations leaves little opportunity to ascertain whether it passes the Bechdel Test. Belle is the only human female ‘character’ and only named woman in the film’s dialogue except Mrs Potts. Belle, Mrs Potts and the wardrobe (unnamed) have a conversation about Belle’s bravery for switching places with a man as a result of the actions of a man. Wardrobe also converses with Belle, but this time solely about how good she’ll look for a man.

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Frozen

  • YEAR: 2013
  • DIRECTOR: Jennifer Lee and Chris Buck
  • KEY ACTORS: Kristen Bell, Idina Menzel
  • CERTIFICATE: PG
  • IMDB SCORE: 7.4
  • ROTTEN TOMATOES SCORE: 90%

SEX SCORE: 4/5

✔️ This obviously passes the Bechdel Test! It’s about sisters who have more problems than just men.
✔️ And it’s definitely rewatchable. And re-singable and re-laughable…
✔️ OK so this animated series is going to get kind of weird when it comes to this particular question but, yes, I would fuck the cast. Kristoff is hot and kind and feminist, and the princesses are beautiful!
❌ But it didn’t inspire fantasies. I don’t have a princess kink and, while there is certainly something about snuggling up warm when it’s snowy outside, this movie didn’t inspire those kinds of fantasies!
✔️ As far as a Disney film can be, this is sex positive! There are important messages about consent and not rushing intimacy.

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Lost in Translation

  • YEAR: 2003
  • DIRECTOR: Sofia Coppola
  • KEY ACTORS: Bill Murray, Scarlett Johansson
  • CERTIFICATE: 15
  • IMDB SCORE: 7.7
  • ROTTEN TOMATOES SCORE: 95%

SEX SCORE: 4.5/5

✔️ This does pass the Bechdel Test, but not well – brief conversations that aren’t entirely directed at each other allow it to pass but I’d always hope for more!
✔️ I didn’t think I would but I do want to fuck the cast. Not individually, not in other films, but I do want to fuck Bob and Charlotte.
✔️ And I think it is sex positive. That’s more of a feeling than something that I can support with any evidence, but I’m going with it!
✔️ Although I had to think about it for a moment, it does inspire fantasies. Of making a connection with the right person and the right time, of finding the perfect stranger in a beautiful city…
❓But is it rewatchable? I’m actually only going to give it half a mark as I’m afraid that it won’t ever have the same impact again as it had when I watched it this week. Does it always feel like that good?

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Happiest Season

  • YEAR: 2020
  •  DIRECTOR: Clea DuVall
  • KEY ACTORS: Kristen Stewart, Mackenzie Davis, Aubrey Plaza
  • CERTIFICATE: 12
  • IMDB SCORE: 6.8
  • ROTTEN TOMATOES SCORE: 83%

SEX SCORE: 3/5

✔️ Of course this passes the Bechdel Test!
✔️ And I would definitely fuck the cast. I’m pretty much entirely straight and yet I would still definitely fuck either Kristen Stewart or Aubrey Plaza!
❌ But it didn’t inspire fantasies. I’ll admit that sneaking along corridors for secret sex at your parents house is kind of hot, but this is just too awkward…
❌ And the awkwardness means that I don’t think it is rewatchable. I’m not a huge fan of romcoms for exactly that reason and this is too much
✔️ But I will give it a mark for being sex positive – it’s queer positive and inclusive and, eventually, accepting!

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The American President

  • YEAR: 1995
  • DIRECTOR: Rob Reiner
  • KEY ACTORS: Michael Douglas, Annette Bening
  • CERTIFICATE: 15
  • IMDB SCORE: 6.8
  • ROTTEN TOMATOES SCORE: 91%

SEX SCORE: 2/5

✔️ This does pass the Bechdel Test, but it’s one of those passes where the exact conversations that qualify can be listed so it’s not a strong pass!
❌ But I don’t think it’s rewatchable. I don’t mean that it’s not good – I enjoyed it a lot – but I don’t think you could pick it up halfway through and watch from there, and I don’t know that I’d go out of my way to see it again
❌ And I don’t want to fuck the cast. Sorry Michael Douglas, you’re still not for me, although this is much closer than any other movie you’ve done!
✔️ It is sex positive! The plot essentially revolves around whether it is appropriate for the President to have a girlfriend, but any opposition to the relationship is appropriately judged!
❌ It didn’t inspire fantasies so is only getting 2/5, which feels low for a movie I enjoyed. But I simply don’t want to fuck the American President – either in real life (MY EYES!), in the movie or in fantasy.

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Moulin Rouge

  • YEAR: 2001
  • Director: Baz Luhrmann
  • KEY ACTORS: Nicole Kidman, Ewan McGregor
  • CERTIFICATE: 12
  • IMDB SCORE: 7.6
  • ROTTEN TOMATOES SCORE: 76%

SEX SCORE: 4/5

✔️ It does pass the Bechdel test…but only just! Satine has a conversation with Marie, her dresser, about being a star. That’s it.

✔️ And, oh my gosh, I want to fuck the cast! It’s difficult to argue whether this is either of McGregor or Kidman’s peak hotness because they have just had so many peaks but, damn, they are beautiful in this movie…

✔️ It’s also incredibly rewatchable. If I come across it on TV, I will always watch it, no matter where in the movie we are.

✔️ And Moulin Rouge did inspire fantasies. Not of sex work but of being that beautiful, that glamorous, that sexually confident…

❌ But it is not sex positive! It’s not sex worker positive, it’s not feminist, and it values virginity much too highly!

As always, this contains spoilers so watch the film before you read on…

STREAMING: Amazon Prime (rent £2.49, buy £6.99), YouTube (from £3.99). For a full list of streaming options, check out JustWatch.com

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