On movie sex and movie love...

Tag: Guest post

Crash

  • YEAR: 1996
  • DIRECTOR: David Cronenberg
  • KEY ACTORS: James Spader, Holly Hunter, Deborah Kara Unger, Rosanna Arquette, Elias Koteas
  • CERTIFICATE: 18
  • IMDB SCORE: 6.4
  • ROTTEN TOMATOES SCORE: 63%

SEX SCORE: 2.5/5

❌ Not only does Crash not pass the Bechdel test, it fails it spectacularly. While there are named women in the film at no point in the entire film do any of them talk to each other. There’s not a huge amount of dialogue in Crash, so when I rewatched it with the Bechdel test in mind, I was kind of imagining there might at least be a passing conversation about Ballard between his wife and Doctor Helen that I’d forgotten, but no; not a dicky bird.

But it is rewatchable? I’ve now seen Crash three times; once in 1997 when it (finally) came out in the UK, once when it was re-released on 4K in 2020, and once for this review. I think it’s an astonishing, bewildering film and I can see myself rewatching it again in future. However, it is very strong stuff, and while I can imagine watching it multiple times, there are many people out there who might not be able to stomach an entire first viewing. That’s entirely understandable – it’s creepy, the characters are on the surface unsympathetic and often repellent, and it’s all-round just very fucking weird. However, if you are a weirdo who likes weird things it may be entirely up your alley. 

✔️ I did want to fuck the cast! Okay, have you seen the cast of Crash? Firstly, James Spader. If you are at all into pervy men in real life then you are in all likelihood into James Spader: I don’t make the rules. However, those of us perverts who also fancy women are extremely well- catered to by this film, which features Holly Hunter with a sleek brown bob glacially smoking cigarettes, Deborah Kara Unger bending over a railing to show off her bare arse, stockings and suspenders and, famously, Rosanna Arquette in leg braces and black leather. I am not even into women smoking or wearing leg braces except for the duration of this film! But for those 100 minutes I absolutely am. And actually, even Elias Koteas performs the role of Vaughan – easily the creepiest character in the movie – with a degree of ‘strange, perverse sensuality’ (Cronenberg’s own words) that I’m… kinda into. I’m not proud of it!

But it did not inspire fantasies. Nooooo. Or… not on this viewing.

✔️ Yes, it is sex positive, almost to a fault. If we take as our definition of sex positivity as being anything that ‘affirm(s) the choices others make regarding sex, even if those choices are different from the ones we would make (as long as those choices are consensual)’ Although that said, some of the sex in Crash is a bit dodgy consent- wise: there’s one scene of open public fucking without regard for whether others on the roads have consented to seeing, and another where Vaughan and the Ballards are wandering around the scene of a multi- car pileup taking photos, posing next to injured bodies and generally being grossly intrusive. The scene is as disturbing as it sounds but the film and its director do not see fit to moralise and trust the audience to make their own decisions about that. 

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Beauty and the Beast

  • YEAR: 1991
  • DIRECTOR: Gary Trousdale and Kirk Wise
  • KEY ACTORS: Robby Benson, Paige O’Hara, Richard White, Angela Lansbury, Jerry Orbach
  • CERTIFICATE: U
  • IMDB SCORE: 8.0
  • ROTTEN TOMATOES SCORE: 94%

SEX SCORE: 3/5

✔️ As a film I’ve easily watched in advance of 40 times, it would be hypocritical of me to say it is not rewatchable.
❓ I want to fuck the cast in fantasy more than reality. Angry men in a scene, yes. Angry men in reality, no. However, Belle is an absolute babe. 
✔️ It did inspire fantasies. So very many. ‘If she doesn’t eat with me, she doesn’t eat at all!’ – do I have to say any more…?
❓ In some senses it is sex positive, mostly in the way it approaches consent, but love and sexual relationships are treated as something for adults, to be understood by adults- as Chip’s questions get brushed aside.
❌ A film with few female conversations leaves little opportunity to ascertain whether it passes the Bechdel Test. Belle is the only human female ‘character’ and only named woman in the film’s dialogue except Mrs Potts. Belle, Mrs Potts and the wardrobe (unnamed) have a conversation about Belle’s bravery for switching places with a man as a result of the actions of a man. Wardrobe also converses with Belle, but this time solely about how good she’ll look for a man.

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Grease 2

  • YEAR: 1982
  • DIRECTOR: Patricia Birch
  • KEY ACTORS: Michelle Pfeiffer, Maxwell Caulfield
  • CERTIFICATE: PG
  • IMDB SCORE: 4.4
  • ROTTEN TOMATOES SCORE: 38%

SEX SCORE: 4/5

✔️ It is absolutely rewatchable. I’ve not watched it as much as I have the original but it is no less addictive!
✔️ And it easily passes the Bechdel Test.
❌ But it is not sex positive! They are critical of virginity, the woman aren’t satisfied, there’s a lot of casual sexual harassment and the gender politics just aren’t good…
✔️ I do think the cast are fuckable – Michelle Pfeiffer is super hot and Michael looks really good, even if he shouldn’t speak!
❌ But it didn’t inspire fantasies. Not sexual ones anyway! I’d wanted to be as cool as Stephanie but I wasn’t that interested in reproducing the romantic plot line.

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Contact

  • YEAR: 1997
  • DIRECTOR: Robert Zemeckis
  • KEY ACTORS: Jodie Foster, Matthew McConaughey, Tom Skerritt
  • CERTIFICATE: PG
  • IMDB SCORE: 7.4
  • ROTTEN TOMATOES SCORE: 65%

Today’s guest post is written by Charlie X (they/he), a blogger I have only recently started reading and who shares the most incredible photos! Follow them on Twitter @CharlieXblog. They have chosen to look at Contact through a Freudian psychoanalytical lens and it is fascinating…

SEX SCORE: 2.5/5

✔️ Contact passes the Bechdel Test.

❌ But Charlie did not want to fuck the cast. (I probably would…)

❌ And we both agree that it didn’t inspire fantasies. It’s not really a movie about sex!

❓ Which is why it’s difficult to say whether it’s sex positive or not. There are no red flags but no are there positive attributes either…

✔️ But is is definitely rewatchable! If only because there are a lot of strands to pick at and lots to think about.

As always, this contains spoilers so watch the film before you read on…

STREAMING: Amazon Prime (free with subscription), BFI Player, YouTube (from £3.99). For a full list of streaming options, check out JustWatch.com

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Boy Meets Girl

  • YEAR: 2014
  • DIRECTOR: Eric Schaeffer
  • KEY ACTORS: Michael Welch, Michelle Hensley
  • CERTIFICATE: unrated in UK, R in USA
  • IMDB SCORE: 7.1
  • ROTTEN TOMATOES SCORE: 88%

I’m so excited to be hosting this guest post! Quinn Rhodes (ze/hir) is an absolutely incredible trans blogger who writes really excellent and passionate posts about hir explorations with gender, kink and hir sexuality. Hir erotica is also smoking hot!! I asked Quinn to chose a movie that contains a trans character or was about trans themes, and ze surpassed my expectations by picking a perfect film – one that is new to me and one that shows a much more positive trans experience than most. Boy Meets Girl is fantastic and I am so pleased that ze introduced me to it. Find Quinn on Twitter @OnQueerStreet

SEX SCORE: 5/5

✔️ It does pass the Bechdel Test! There are several conversations where there are only women on screen and they’re talking about themselves…though a lot of the time they are rather obsessed with the main character’s junk.

✔️ It is rewatchable! Admittedly, this was the first time I’ve watched Boy Meets Girl and even in the six years since it came out it hasn’t aged especially well in some aspects (more on that later), but it’s definitely a film I’ll be going back to.

✔️ Of course I want to fuck the cast! Michelle Hensley is incredibly hot and I forgive the unrealistic sex scenes (when they start fucking outside by a river in the middle of the night and then we cut to them in a bed the next morning) because she is so fucking sexy in them.

✔️ It also inspires fantasies! I am definitely going to have to spend more time thinking about the sex that the film obviously doesn’t show us, lest it be cast as porn, and trying to work out what some of the things the characters whisper to each other before they fuck could be.

✔️ I’d also say that it was sex positive! I think any film that shows two women having “the talk” before they have sex about previous partners and safe sex practices definitely can be counted as extremely sex positive, even if I would never describe talking about those things in that way.

As always, this contains spoilers so watch the film before you read on…

STREAMING: Amazon Prime (free with subscription, or rent for £2.99, buy £6.99). For a full list of streaming options, check out JustWatch.com

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Imagine Me and You

YEAR: 2005
DIRECTOR: Ol Parker
KEY ACTORS: Piper Perabo, Lena Headey, Matthew Goode, Celia Imrie, Anthony Head
CERTIFICATE: 12
IMDB SCORE: 6.8
ROTTEN TOMATOES SCORE: 34%

I’m so happy to be posting another guest post from another fabulous sex blogger, Amy Norton from Coffee and Kink! Amy writes hot erotica, detailed sex toy reviews and insightful personal essays – do go and check out her writing!

SEX SCORE: 4.5/5
✔️ Passes the Bechdel Test with flying colours. Main characters Rachel and Luce are shown talking about a wide range of topics from flowers to football.
✔️ Fuckable cast – Lena Headey (yes, as in Cersei Lannister) as a dorky lesbian florist? Sign me the fuck up. Piper Perabo is also super hot. The men don’t really do anything for me; Matthew Goode’s Heck is cute enough but not my type, and Darren Boyd’s Cooper is way too obnoxious to be hot.
Fantasies inspired – Half a point here. No specific sexual fantasies from this one (there’s hardly any actual sex in it!) but definitely plenty of romantic fantasies. This movie was the first piece of media which gave me hope that queer women, too, could have cinema-worthy mushy happy endings.
✔️ Rewatchable – Endlessly. I’ve probably seen this film at least a dozen times by now, and it’s a frequent cheer-me-up choice when I’m sad or sick.
✔️ Sex positive – This was difficult to decide. I’m torn primarily because there’s a major theme about cheating, which is hard to classify as sex-positive. However, it’s also a story about following your heart when your sexuality turns out to not be quite what you thought, and it’s unashamedly queer-positive (despite coming out only two years after the end of Section 28.) So, yes, it gets the point.

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Y Tu Mamá También

YEAR: 2001
DIRECTOR: Alfonso Cuarón
KEY ACTORS: Gael García Bernal, Maribel Verdú, Diego Luna
CERTIFICATE: 18
IMDB SCORE: 7.7
ROTTEN TOMATOES SCORE: 92%

Today’s review is a guest post from the fabulous Exhibit A – sex blogger extraordinaire and my husband! If you like his perspective, do check out his blog. You won’t be disappointed!

SEX SCORE: 5/5

✔️ It just about passes the Bechdel test – there is only one significant female character but there are lots of named secondary characters that Luisa speaks to about other subjects.
✔️Rewatchable? Well I’ve seen it at least three times now, and enjoyed it on each occasion, so that’s a definite yes.
✔️Sex positive? I wavered over this for a long time. But yes, I think it is.
✔️Inspired fantasies? Yes, though the way in which it does so has changed over the years! YTMT was released when I was 20, so roughly the same age as Julio and Tenoch. Back then, it was very easy to put myself in their shoes; now the fantasies owe more to the general air of anticipation, tenderness, and exploration running through the climactic (heh) sex scene.
✔️Fuck the cast? Tricky one. I would absolutely fuck Maribel Verdú’s caustic, no-nonsense Luisa, and if offered a threesome with either Gael Garcia Bernal or Diego Luna now, I’d say yes in a heartbeat. As bratty teenagers though, they appeal rather less! I’m tempted to go with the cop-out option and give it a half-mark, but given the many wonderful and terrible things I’d do with/to Verdú alone, I think it just about clears the bar.

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